KAWAR ZUCIYA 3

Sumayyah AbdulQadir
07030137870 (WhatsApp only)
[email protected]
[email protected]

“Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurratu a’ayunin wa ja’alna lil muttaqina imaama”.

-Sumayyah Abdulkadir (Takori)
01/01/2025

KAWAR ZUCIYA 3
Safiyyah na iya jin motsinsa, da sautin takunsa na ilhama a lokacin da yake sanda zai wuce ta gaban tagarta, wanda ya kasance taku ne na girma da haiba na kebabbun maza, ta dade da sanin ba kowa keda irin ‘gait’ dinsa ba. A yau data duba calender sai ta tarar Zayyan ya cika shekaru arba’in da biyu da haihuwa.
Takunsa gab-gab irin mai bada sauti, wanda karfin takun ke tafiya tareda tsanantar bugun zuciyarta a daren yau, tamkar takun sautin tafiyar tasa na gaya mata how far the distance between them now.
Wannan duka yana faruwa ne a lokacin da Arch. Zayyan ya baro ma’adanar motocinsa ya shigo cikin gidansa, tuni ta jima da sanin dawowarsa ta hanyar gunjin motarsa da taji, haka dadewar da yayi zaune cikin mota bai fito ba duk tana ankare, a lokacin tana kwance kawai rigingine bisa tsakiyar lallausar gadonta kamar anyi mata duka, jikinta yayi la’asar kamar jikakken tsumma, kanta babu kallabi, ya zame gefe, wanda hakan ya baiwa gashin kanta damar daya watsu yake watayawa akan filon data ke kwance a kai.
Baka iya jin komai a daidai wannan lokacin cikin “Sunset Estate” sai tashin sautin kukan gyare, amsa-kuwwar malam buda mana littafi dana haushin karnuka daga gidajen dake makwabtaka dasu, saboda dare ya tsala sosai.
Ta gaban dakinta yazo ya wuce. Kamshin turarensa na Ultraviolet (Men) Paco Rabanne ya surnano ta cikin sassanyar iskar A.C din dake aiki a dakinta, sanda yake wucewa zuwa sassanshi. Kamshin da ya sanyata sake lumshe idanunta, wadanda dama suke a lumshe, kamar na mai bacci, tana mai kintata girman nesantar juna da zasuyi yanzu da shigowar Azeezah Murtala tsakaninsu, sai ta sake lumshe idanun a hankali wata sabuwar damuwar na kara ziyartarta. Ba wai tayi barci bane kamar yadda Zayyan ya zata, a’ah, wata irin kwanciya kawai Safiyyah tayi shajaran-majaran don ko motsi bata iya yi sosai.

Ji tayi bata bukatar ganinsa a daren yau, shiyasa tun bayan tafiyar jsama’a ta kulle dakinta, ko na minti guda ne bata fatan tozali dashi a yau. Kamar yadda ta tabbata basu da abin cema juna in sun hadun, ranar da ya karbi zuwan amaryarsa.
A yau da Azeezah tazo gidan Arch. Zayyan Bello, duk wani abu da ake yi na zuwan amarya wanda al’ada ta tanada irinsu kawota amana wajen uwargida duk ‘yan Rafindadi basu ce a yi mata ba, saboda basu dauketa cikakkar mutum bama, don haka ba’ayi mata kawo amana ba, balle irin fadannan da ake hada kishiyoyi a yi musu, wanda ke nufin itada babu duk daya ne a garesu. Wannan shi yafi komai yi mata ciwo domin su Yaya Zubaidah sune masu karbar amarya, da basu ce ayi ba, danginta ma sai basu tambayi uwargida ba, duk da sun san tana gidan, sun riga sun gama rainata, sun kara nunawa dangin amarya matsayinta na ba a bakin komai take garesu ba. Sun kuma ninka raininsu gareta yau ko daga tarin dukiya da arzikin da aka shigo musu dashi gidan dan uwansu irin wanda suke masa buri da mafarki, kai bata tsammanin ma sun gaya musu akwai uwargida, duk da dangin Haj. Nana dana Alh. Murtala sun san da zamanta, itama kuma bata bukatar a kawo mata amarya don idonta bazai juri ganinta a gabanta ba.
Tafi yarda kowacce tayi zaman wanda ya ajiyeta ba tareda shiga sabgar ‘yar uwarta ba hakanzai fi mata sauki sosai, wato kowacce tayi abinda mijin ya kawota tazo tayi a gidan amma babu wani alaqa bayan wannan da zata yarda ya shiga tsakaninsu don jan mutuncinta.
To haka batun ace yazo tayi masa rakiya gun amarya duk ita bata sa aka ba. Abarta da (inferiority feelings) dinta ma kadai sun isheta na zuwan diyar masu kudi daidai da burin danginsa da mahaifiyarsa.

Bata bukatar jin wata kalma ko ganin komai daga gareshi yanzu, domin Zayyan ya shammaceta, abu ne da bata taba zaton yiwuwarsa ba koda yace yana neman auren diyar ubangidansa, bata zaci zai iya kara aure ba duk da kwarwar mahaifiyarsa akanta. A karshe zuciyar Safiyyah ta rufe da gaya mata cewa…“Bakin alkalami ya riga bushe, Sophie Zayyan yayi aure yau. Ya gama cika dadadden burin mahaifiyarsa dana ‘yan uwansa. Zuciyarta ta kara tabbatar mata.
Don haka tana jin takunsa ya durkako ta dauka sassanta zai shigo sai ta kara wani irin lafewa a gadonta kamar mai barci, duk data rufe kofarta ta kuma bar mukullinta a jiki. Amma akasi ga tunaninta, shikuma sai bai tsaya a kofar tata ba, wucewarsa yayi kai tsaye zuwa nashi part din don shima baida bukatar ganin kowaccensu saboda baya cikin sukunin zuciya.

A zahiri da badini yau barci ya gagari Sophie, hakannan ta samu kanta da rashin bukatar ganin Zayyan karo na farko a rayuwar aurensu, zuciyarta na tuquqi tana suya, in ta tuno abinda yayi mata wanda bazata kirashi laifi ba, kuma bazata kira shi haramun ba, amma lallai a kasan zuciyarta babban zunubi ne Zayyan ya aikata mata, wanda bata jin har duniya ta nade zata daina jin zafinsa akai, kuma zasu kara komawa kamar yadda suke a da.
Sophie ta dafe saitin zuciyarta daidai tsakiyar kirjinta dake harbawa, sai fama take da wasu azababbun feelings da suka fi karfin kirjinta. A hankali kuma tayi wani wahalallen juyi a kan gadonta, wanda girman sa ya isa mutum biyar su kwanta bayan ita.
Wannan juyi mara dadi Safiyyah tayi irinshi yafi sau shurin masaki, wai ko taji dan dama-dama a ranta ko yaya ne, amma ta kasa jin damar, kai ko hagun ma ta kasa ji, ta kasa jin dadin kwanciyar kota yaya ta juya jikinta, jin ta take tamkar akan kayoyi take kwance.
Yau ta yarda “Kishi” ba karya bane! Kishi halittane mai zaman kansa kuma mai wahalar da zuciyar diya mace. Saidai kowacce akwai irin yadda take daukar nata; mild, moderate or severe. Na Safiyyah kam yau is severe, abinda yasa ta sussuce da yawa bata taba zaton al’amarin zai tabbata ba, balle haka da gaggawa, kamar kiftawar ido, don a tunaninta Zayyan ya gama bata dukkan soyayyarsa, ya gama zama nata. So abin yazo mata kamar a shammace, duk da cewa ta riga ta sani kafin ayi, bata yarda ta zama matar ladan noma ba sai yau da amarya Azeezah ta zo, duk da dai Zayyan ya fake da cewa don maslaharta ya auri Azeezah.

Yau da ace wani ne daban take aure bazata shiga wannan halin ba don ya kara aure, amma Zayyan ne fa!
Wani kwayan mutum guda daya da zuciyoyinsu ke narke cikin ruhin juna. Ta yaya zata dauki kasancewarsa da wata sabuwar mace yau cikin gidansu da sauki a zuciyarta??
Ko yaya Sophie ta rufe ido da son tayi barci, don samun salama daga halin da zuciyarta ke ciki a daren yau, ko don ta samu ta hutawa gangar jikinta ma, domin yinin ranar yau sur! Bata zauna ko na minti biyar ba, tana ta kai kawo da hidimar jama’a kai kace bata da damuwar komai a ranta, duk da cewa ta wuni ne amsar ‘habaici’ da ‘gori’ a fakaice na fitinannun dangin mijinta, aka kuma cika gidan da ‘guda’ (ayyuririii) na zuwan amarya, da ire-iren bakaken maganar su Yaya Zubaida cikin raha, wanda suke yi da danginta su Anti Dije, wadanda ko su kadai sun isa sakata ciwon kai. Don ma dai Antin nata Dije ba kyalle bace tanata rama mata.

Bayan ta tabbatar Zayyan ya wuce ba tareda ya nemi ganinta a daren ba, sai ta saki ajiyar zuciya, ta sani baida abun gaya mata shima, kamar yadda bata da abun gaya masa itama, kenan hakan da yayi din (boye kansa daga idanunta) shi yafi musu sauki bakidayansu.
Daga haka Sophie bata da tabbacin ko Zayyan ya fito ya tafi gun amarya daga baya ko a’ah, duk rufe idon da tayi da niyyar barci dai su take gani shi da amaryarsa, har gizo suke mata cikin yanayi na ma’aurata a kowacce kusurwa ta dakinta, shi da sabuwar matarsa, cikin yanayin da inda halarci a wurin Da namiji, da ita kadai ya dace ace Zayyan ya cigaba da kasancewa da, daga nan har karshen rayuwarsu.

Sun riga sun gina rayuwarsu bisa soyayyar junansu kadai tun tali-tali, tun farkon aurensu mai tsabta da cikkar tarihi junanasu kawai suka sani. Soyayya ‘yar usli irin tasu ba duk gidajen aure ake samu ba, amma da yake namiji bashi da tabbas! Duk inda yake sunansa kenan namiji, duk dadewar ku tare zai iya kara aure a sanda ya bushi iska, bata yarda wai don maslaharta Zayyan ya auri Azeezah ba, ya dai fake da ita ne don biyan bukatar kansa, ai ba yau ta san wanene Zayyan akan maitar diya mace ba.
Daga wadancan shekaru goman da doriya da suka gabata, wadanda a yanzu sun shude sun zama (past decade) dinsu, har zuwa inda yau ke motsi, Safiyyah bata taba raba makwanci da mijinta Zayyan Bello Rafindadi ba, duk rashin fahimtar da zasu samu tofa zasu kwana daki guda tareda juna koda kwanciyar kai da kafa ne, a gado daya, amma banda yau da Azeezah tazo.
Watakila dalilin wannan sabon nasu ne yasa ta kasa karbar sauyin rayuwar da yazo masu da sauki, ta kasa ko runtsawa domin ta kasa lallashin zuciyarta ta karbi kaddarar da sauki. A lokacin da zuciyarta ta tabbatar Zayyan yana can yana barje gumin amarcinsa, ya manta da wata halitta, Sophie.

Safiyyah ta girgiza kai tace.
“Koma dai yaya ne… ni nasan kaddarar rashin samun haihuwa shi ya janyo min yau ta raba gado da Habiby, har ake wani fakewa da nema min maslaha”, tunda a zahiri ita Safiyyah bata san tanada wata matsala ko wani nakasu da Zayyan zai kasa jura ba, ta manta weakness din kowanne Da namiji kenan. Kuma dai haka Allah yaga damar yi dasu bakidaya!!!
A wannan lokacin Safiyyah ta samu kanta da daga hannunta bibbiyu sama, tana kwararo addu’a a fili ba tareda tasan tana yi ba, ba kuma ga kanta kadai ba, ga duk macen da Allah yayiwa irin jarrabawarta, ta rashin samun haihuwa a shekarun kuruciyarta.
“Ya Allah ka dubi matan duk da baka baiwa haihuwa ba, da idanun rahmarka da jin kanKa Yaa Allah.

Ya Allah ka dube su da rahmarka da tausayinKa. Ya Samad Ya Ahad, kada ka jarrabcesu da irin abinda nake dandana a zuciyata yau! Wato a kawo wata don tazo ta haifa saboda su sun kasa.
Ya Allah Kasa munada rabon ‘ya’ya nagari a duniya, idan bamu da rabon ‘ya’ya a duniya ka bamu dangana akan rashin samunsu, mu kara yarda rashin haihuwar ma ibada ce muke yi mai zaman kanta, wadda Ubangiji da kanKa kace “kana jin kunyarmu! (mu wadanda baka baiwa haihuwa ba)”. Ta dalilin hakan na roke ka Ya Rabbi, Ka saka mu cikin rahmarKa da cetonka Ya Allah!!!
Addu’ar Safiyyah ta koma ta cigaba da fitowa cikin larabci a fili;
“Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata a’a’yunin wa ja’alna lil muttaqina imaama!!!
A daren bakidaya banga alamu na cewa Nana Safiyyah zata iya runtsawa ba. Sai ta zama tamkar ‘yar karamar zararriya kawai daga kwance, ko kuwa ‘patient’ mai fama da ‘emotional disorder’ ba tareda ta sani ba, ta juya nan ta juya can, lokaci-lokaci ta hada da sakin tsaki. Kusan yadda taga rana haka taga nisan daren bakidaya a idanunta, tamkar garin Allah bazai taba wayewa taga hasken rana ba.

A cikin daren, duk wannnan SOn da Safiyyah keyima Zayyan Bello, wanda aka dade da ginawa bisa bulallikan yarda da aminci, soyayyahr nan tasu gangariya mara algus, mai baiwa duk wanda ya rabesu sha’awa, saboda ko kai makaho ne in suna wuri ka saurara sai ka san akwai karfin soyayya a tsakaninsu ko daga furucin bakinsu ga juna, soyayyar Zayyan da Sophie sun riga sun dorata akan tushe na kwarai kuma mai inganci, tayi yabanya korra sharr har ta zamo abar buga misali da rubutawa, soyayya ce ta saboda Allah wadda babu wani (material attachment) a cikinta.
Saidai kuma yau haka soyayyar tayi ta tsiyayewa a kasa, tana bi tana zagwanyewa tana narkewa a rariya, tana ficewa fiiit! Daga zuciyar Safiyyah.
Sannan duk wannan kauna da yardar da ta ginu a tsakaninsu tsayin shekaru goma da doriya, wani irin rikidewa ya rika yi yana birgima a kasa yana juyewa zuwa tsagwaron tsana da kishi, kishi irin mai neman raba Safiyyah da numfashinta, kamar yadda dalma ke narkewa a wuta, haka soyayyarsa ke narkewa tana bin rariya daga ranta sabida kishi.

A can baya tana ganin zata iya jure komai, ta mayar da komai zuwa ba komai ba, a yanzu kam! Da ya tabbata amaryar Zayyan ta iso, Safiyyah faman karyata kanta da kanta take yi ta kuma gane a baya ta yaudari kanta.
Domin soyayyar da aka gina sama da shekaru goma da doriya yau tana rikidewa tana komawa zuwa wani abu daban a zuciyarta, irin wanda mata da yawa suke (experiencing) a lokacin tarewar amarya, ko ace dare irin wannan na (handing over) din miji daga Uwargida zuwa ga Amarya, abinda yafi kama da ta kirashi zallar ‘tsana’ ko ‘kiyayya-kiyayya’, wani sabon (hatred) ne mai tsanani ke samun muhallin zama a ranta akan Zayyan dinta, ‘love & trust’ kuma na ‘disappearing’. Ta yadda har Safiyya bata marmarin garin Allah ya waye ta sake ganin fuskar Zayyan a gabanta….

A yau Safiyyah ta jinjinawa kowacce macen data wayi gari da kishiya a gidanta, kuma ta budi ido a washegari da sauran numfashi a kirjinta bai gushe ba.
Saboda duk yadda zata kwatanta abinda take ji bazai kwatantu ba. A rana irin wannan data sallamawa wata macen daban mijin data rayu dashi sama da shekaru goma, wato tun bai zama mutum ba, tun bai zama abin sha’awa ga sauran mata ba, itama tun bata zama Safiyyahr data zama a yanzu ba. Ma’ana tun bata san dadin soyayyah ba.
Kai! Mijin ma dai ace irin Zayyan dinta, Zayyan dinsu su kadai itada Baba Bello, wanda tun aurensu bata taba raba shimfida da numfashin shaqa a hanci dashi ba, bugun kirjinsu bai taba rabuwa lokacin barci ba, cikin shekaru goma da doriya da suka kasance tare matsayin ma’aurata. Sai dai in dayansu yayi tafiya shikadai ne to wannan kuwa.

Don haka duk juyin da Safiyya tayi ji take kamar kayoyin bishiyar aduwa dana bishiyar lemon tsami suna sukarta a fatar jiki da tsokar zuciyarta.
Kyakkyawar fuskar Zayyan, classy, ma’abociyar zatinnan da kamala nayi mata gizo a dakinta, amma kuma yau rikidewa take a idanun Safiyyah, zuwa wani mummunan muni, wanda ya zamanto ko ‘Gorilla’ yanzu ya fi shi haske da kyawun gani a idanu da zuciyarta.
A baya ta sha ganin beken mata masu rasa hankalinsu har wani lokacin ta kaisu da dambe da miji don kawai ya kara aure, saboda sun gaza dauka a matsayin kaddararsa ne, da masu cinnawa mijin da amaryar ko kansu wuta ko shan guba duk don su mutu su huta da azabar zuciya, da masu zabar ‘saki’ dungurungum su bar gidajen auren da yaransu, kawai saboda zuciyarsu bazata jure raba mijinsu da wata macen ba.
To a yau Safiyyah duk ta hadasu tayi musu uzurin da a baya ta gaza yi musu, wato da al’amarin ya zo kanta saita daina ganin laifinsu ta yarda zasu iya aikatawa. Abinda bahaushe ke cewa in baka iya kuka ba, to uwarka ce bata mutu ba.
Cikin wadannan munanan hukunce hukuncen na kare kai daga bakinciki, da zuciyarta ta zayyano, ta kuma yi (recommending) mata, wannene take jin ita Safiyyah bazata iya aikatawa a cikinsu ba yanzu???
Babu wanda zuciyarta bata halarto mata da tayi shi ba itama, ko ta samu sanyi da salaama da sukuni a zuciyarta.
Ta yarda kishin mijin da kakeso masifa ne, bala’I ne mai zaman kansa kuma jafa’I ne na zahiri da badini a zuciyar mace, sai an dubi imani an kuma kai zuciya nesa, sannan har ila yau, ta yarda halitta ne mai girma da zai iya saka ka rasa addininka da imaninka in bakayi da gaske ba.

Amma karfin imaninta wanda har lokacin bai girgiza ba, na kasancewarta musulma, sannan mace mai yawan ibadar dare, wadda ta taso a gida na addini da tarbiyyah, mai yawan azumin tadawwi’I, hakan yasa imaninta har yanzu bai gushe ba, har a lokacin Safiyyah da sauran hankalinta da kyakkyawan tunaninta. Sai hakan yasa taga cewa bazata iya aikata ko dayansu ba akan namiji ita Nana Safiyyah.
Kamar yadda tunanin Safiyyah na hankali bai gushe ba, haka imaninta da Allah shima yana gaya mata ta jure zuwa wayewar garin, sannan ta zabi abinda zata iya yi. Domin Allah ya halatta saki, amma hakika baya sonsa.